


It Hurts So Good

by Candybara



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Body Image, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Self-Hatred, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:18:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candybara/pseuds/Candybara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your reflection was a bitter enemy, as self-inflicted as your own insecurities, but it existed nevertheless and it endlessly refused to stop existing, endlessly refused to stop following you through vitreous shop windows and shimmering street puddles. It sneered at you when you met its gaze, and lingered even when you refused to gratify it with a sideways glance. It was derisive, cruel, and it had long since made a home among the ticking gears of your unconscious mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Hurts So Good

Kiyoshi had many times told you that the person you so often saw staring out from inside the mirror was not the real you.

Perspective is a powerful lens, he would say, because he knew that all you saw were flaws, and he also knew that everything you hated about yourself would only serve to become glaringly obvious to you the longer you stared. He knew that you would never once see the perfection that he saw, the countless virtues that met his gentle gaze every time he looked upon you.

Your reflection was a bitter enemy, as self-inflicted as your own insecurities, but it existed nevertheless and it endlessly refused to stop existing, endlessly refused to stop following you through vitreous shop windows and shimmering street puddles. It sneered at you when you met its gaze, and lingered even when you refused to gratify it with a sideways glance. It was derisive, cruel, and it had long since made a home among the ticking gears of your unconscious mind.

Kiyoshi saw how it broke you you down, how it turned laughing smiles into silent frowns within an instant because that was just the nature of heavy burdens. And it hurt him to see you suffer, but there were times when tender touches and softly spoken words of comfort offered no support, because by then you were far too good at putting up barriers that not even he could permeate.

Even still, he made it a point to praise you, every aspect of you, time and time again, always trying to assure you that he would one day permanently dispel the demons that lurked and jeered behind your eyes. It was almost laughably easy for you to believe him, even despite your greatest cynicisms, but it was also still painfully hard for you to love yourself when there was simply not enough time in a midsummer’s day for him to be there and love you too.

Kiyoshi slowly kissed along the line of your neck, the warm drag of his tongue striking prickles like the edge of a matchbox down the length of your spine. His hands were delicate as they caressed your parted thighs, his fingertips soft as they ghosted the silky lining of your flesh, trailing up and up until you could feel him probing at your clit through the fabric of your underwear.

You shifted in his lap to lean back against the broad slope of his chest, swallowing down the sigh that threatened to spill from your lips when his teeth grazed the rim of your ear. Your hips twitched beneath the slide of his palm, head tipping back to rest against his shoulder as his touch slipped beneath the cotton gusset blanketing your slit.

Stimulation and gratification alike stirred your core through hypersensitive aware as Kiyoshi pressed past the borders of your entrance, whisking arousal into hunger when you felt him ease a single, thick finger inside you and curl it against the walls of your slick heat. A shudder turned into an open-mouthed moan before you knew just how much you needed the pleasure in your veins, before you remembered just how intoxicating it was to trace the spike in your heartbeat and forget.

Your head lolled as you all but melted under Kiyoshi’s touch, allowing friction to pour salacity into the slackening fall of your limbs. It was like all the tension in your body had spilled into the pit of your stomach, because the pressure striking fervor in your core was enough to make you worry that you would cave in on yourself if you allowed sensation to keep piling high.

Something too bittersweet to call passion churned through your blood until the bliss between your thighs burned like a gin and tonic. Of course, liquor never got you drunk like sex did, and it had already become routine by the time you once again brought yourself to tip the pain back and succumb to the numbness of an adrenaline rush. Lust and greed were both desire, in the end.

Another set of fingers climbed higher and suddenly it felt like you were being touched everywhere, all at once, even though it was only a hand on your slit and a hand up your borrowed sweater. Kiyoshi worked a tender nipple under his thumb and bowed his head to drag his lips down the side of your neck, teeth ever so carefully scraping the heat of your flesh to suck blood almost to the surface of your skin.

He kissed behind your jaw and kneaded your breast under his palm, and you were moaning by then but you were still all too aware of just how far the fabric of your pullover had hiked up the shift of Kiyoshi’s forearm, and though it was mostly without subtlety anyway, he noticed when you reached for the soft weave of your hem and tugged it back down, concealing the bare stretch of your abdomen under pale cashmere. He noticed when your grip tightened around the edge of the garment, when your knuckles turned white around the curl of your fingers and your nails dug into the silvery cloth, when your thighs fell closer around the press of his palm and your breathing slowed to inaudibility.

He noticed it all, and you noticed too when his ministrations halted and you were sure that you had managed to turn him off.

“Is something wrong?” He asked softly, despite already knowing as you tilted your head down and stared at your hands.

“I… I-I don’t…….” You trailed off, biting your lip in a shallow attempt to ignore the swelling lump in your throat. You felt Kiyoshi exhale against the back of your neck, his fingers still pressed hot against your throbbing entrance, but his breath did little to cool the blush dusting your cheeks. You wondered why shame would so often get in the way of intimacy, especially when it was already so impossible for you to mistake anxiety for excitement.

“Do you want to stop?” His voice was gentle, honey-sweet and empathetic. You were quick to reply.

“No, I just… I’m disgusting, so don’t look at m—”

“I’m sorry,” Kiyoshi interrupted. “I don’t take kindly to hearing lies spread about the people I care for.”

You froze and blinked, feeling the watery sting of salt gather under your eyelids as the pain of your words struck you like a punch to the gut. Was it a lie if you genuinely believed it, with all your heart? Clearly you encompassed a different truth, but it was real nevertheless, if not only in your sphere of existence. Still, it felt bizarre to imagine that the sound of your name did not necessarily instill universal revulsion.

“I happen to think you’re beautiful and amazing, and knowing that I get to be yours every single day for as long as you’ll have me… It makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.” Kiyoshi hugged you to his frame, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you close and simply feel you against him. “You’re the most wonderful person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. You’re smart, kind, funny, _sexy_ … I love everything about you.”

You paused for a moment and let the flush in your cheeks inflame past shades of pink under your skin, leaving you with a reddened face and a stammer under your tongue. You felt Kiyoshi smile into your hair even as you curled in on yourself, resting your forehead against your knees to hide the slowing trickle of tears that dripped from your lashes.

“I’m not sexy…” You uttered at last, thinking it strange when you found that the urge to smile was quickly becoming just as strong as the urge to sob.

“Do you really think I would say something like that without meaning it?” Kiyoshi’s hands were gentle as he pivoted you in his lap, and you unfolded without much resistance but you still continued to hold your gaze downward even as your body was turned to face his own. He guided you forward by the waist, ushering you closer until your legs finally shifted to straddle his hips, and it was only when he slipped two fingers under your chin and slowly, carefully angled your head up that you finally let yourself look at him.

He kissed away the brine staining your cheeks and then met your mouth with sugar and saline on his tongue, lips soft and warm and familiarly insistent. His palm was broad enough to cover your hand almost completely as he traced your touch over his chest, and when you temporarily caught the thundering tremor of his pulse under the press of skin against skin, you found that it made you feel incredibly small, even fragile under his grasp. He led your fingertips down the chiseled surface of his abdomen, and you noted the contraction of his stomach as you followed the dip of his navel before altogether sliding beneath the waistband of his boxers.

“Here,” Kiyoshi whispered, gasping softly when he felt your knuckles brush the weeping head of his erection. “Feel how hard you make me…”

You breathed something shaky as your fist coiled around his shaft, your touch pumping friction through his blood and pleasure up the curve of his spine as you stroked him slow and easy. He groaned as you thumbed at the tip of his length, and when his hips twitched under the drag of your palm, it sent a bolt of heat straight through your core. So your fingers curled tighter and your wrist flexed faster.

Kiyoshi panted and pressed his face into the crook of your neck, and from there you could feel his moans skipping low and dulcet over the sweep of your skin. The pride in your lungs was buoyant and it made your chest swell fractionally, because the satisfaction of knowing what you did to him was eons better than the fear of wondering how much better he deserved. The gratification in each breath he took was there and you knew it, and much to your surprise, the flicker of confidence was still there when his hand finally stopped yours.

“You don’t have to, of course,” he murmured, “but I wouldn’t mind it at all if you were to give me back my sweater.” He wore an encouraging smile, but the hunger in his eyes was ineffable despite that fact. The pullover came off with relatively little hesitation on your part, and when Kiyoshi exhaled at the sight of you, the awe on his lips carried warmth through your body and his.

He tipped you onto your back and pinned your wrists to the sheets before you had a chance to cross your arms over your chest, as he knew you would if not only out of instinctive habit. You tangled your fingers in his hair as he kissed down the curve of your throat, and you whimpered when you felt him draw a patch of skin just below your collarbone into his mouth.

It seemed as though his tongue had danced across every last inch of your flesh before his hips were finally pressing solid against your own, your underwear having simply been pushed aside to allow for the steady glide of his shaft. You let out a shaky gasp as he rocked forward to press into you, but then you were issuing a sound of complaint when you felt him stop one time too many out of concern.

“You’re sure I’m not hurting you?” Kiyoshi spoke gently, though whatever composure still lingered in his voice felt thin and frail, as though it could have easily been shattered and left for a trace of raw desire. You nodded with assurance and bit your lip as his hips began to shift newly into motion, bringing little pace and yet unbelievable resolve with every smooth thrust.

Your fingertips curled against the sinewy flex of his back, leaving crescent indentations under the press of your nails. His arms trembled through the weight of his shoulders as he bowed his head and groaned, sweat-damp bangs grazing your forehead in time with every heave and sway of his body. You felt him breathe a hot, cloudy sigh against your flesh, and when you moaned in response it mingled, swirling through the air between the desperate slide of mouths.

“So gorgeous…” Kiyoshi gasped, leaning farther over you to press his cheek to your jaw and plant a whisper over the rim of your ear. “ _Aah_ … So perfect……”

It was hard to think when all you wanted to do was feel, nor could you imagine being capable of introspection just then even if it were something you desired. All you knew was that the pieces of you were falling into place, making you whole for at least that moment, because how call yourself broken when you felt so adored? Sweet nothings flowed from Kiyoshi’s lips like there was hardly more than oxygen on his tongue, but his words echoed through you with far more potency than the zephyr in your lungs, and it was enough to bring you closer to the peak of your arousal.

You shuddered as pleasure churned like a vat of molasses in the pit of your stomach, thick and heavy and so impossibly saccharine it made you wish for something insipid to cool the heat in your chest. You arched your back to close the space filled by shadows and tilted your hips, looking for nothing in particular but finding something anyway when Kiyoshi drove into you deeper than ever. He groaned and you whimpered, and then you felt his fingers on your clit and everything escalated all at once.

You were already beginning to crumble even before you knew that you had reached your limit, already trembling and panting and moaning incoherently as you approached a summiting sort of need. Your orgasm tore through your spine and left you feeling boneless, if not all but unable to recall how you could have possibly hated the body that brought you such pleasure, and as the fire in your core dwindled into smoke and ash, it imparted contentment upon you, hidden among the fading embers of a sated desire.

Kiyoshi stroked the curve of your cheek with a shaky palm as you caught your breath and forced your eyes open at last, heart still racing through the quivery aftershocks of your climax. He pressed his forehead to yours and swallowed thickly, letting the shiver under his skin seep through the press of his frame before bringing himself to utter a whisper against your flesh.

“Will it be too much if I keep going…?” His length pulsed, nearly aching through the tremulous clench of your inner walls, and you felt it, for he was close, though not nearly close enough. You bit your lip and shook your head, but even when his hips only dipped the slightest fraction of an inch, it sent sparks of hypersensitivity through the furl of your toes, and it vibrated through the press of your fingertips, and really it was too much but an addiction was an addiction, so you took each thrust and muffled your cries against the slant of his shoulder.

Kiyoshi came hard and unrestrained, though the tension that cut free in his core left him with little more than the ghost of a moan on his breath and liquid heat between your thighs. His body lurched with the force of it, musculature never once slackening until he felt the air flood back into his lungs and the pleasure subside to a mere, dull throb that shuddered through his limbs.

You lay with him in comfortable silence, hearing only softening sighs and the occasional rustle of sheets with shifting limbs. Your touch traced the hard line of Kiyoshi’s jaw as you studied the defined ridge of his brow, the fading color in his cheeks, the disheveled caramel of his locks. He smiled when he felt your fingertips glide across his bottom lip, and before long he was grasping your palm to kiss each one in turn.

“I love you,” he murmured at last, and you felt a sardonic smile tug at your lips before you knew what you were saying.

“Well, thank goodness at least one of us does.” Kiyoshi looked mostly unsurprised at your words, and it made you start to wonder just how often you had unknowingly forced him to endure your endlessly self-deprecating comments. He shuffled closer to fit his lips against yours for a fleeting moment before pulling back to flash you that warm, innocent smile you knew so well, toying with the pads of your fingers once again as he spoke, sweet and gentle.

“I’ll just have to love you enough for the both of us, then.”

You giggled softly.

“You’re smooth, Iron Heart.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up at http://imagine-nsfw-basuke-things.tumblr.com/ for more sinful reader-insert adventures!


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